Blessed Events

Recently I have come across the issue of parental trust. The issue is when do you start to trust your children? Why is it that we strive to make them strong independent people but yet we hold them back at the same time. I have met a few people recently on both sides of the subject. The child's side is, I don''t do anything wrong but yet the don't trust me. I don't drink, do drugs or anything of that nature. I spend most of my time at home or work. I always call them to let them know I am ok and when they call my cell phone I always answer so what is the problem. The parent side is: they have lied in the past, they were very disrespectful before, the were not where they said they were, they didnt answer when i called. The problem is that your past has dictated your future as well as their past. We all say leave the past in the past but do we really mean it? No we don't because if we did than many of of the issues we all face wouldn't exist would it? I have always trusted my kids until they have proven me not too. I think that as parents we tend to forget that our children are a blessing given from the power above. The children are our legacy and only when we give them our trust, guidance and our love will they be able to grow into the adults we want them to be. We must look at their errors in judgement as growing pains and let them have these issues so that they will be able to make the right decisions. As our children grow older we must let go of the reigns that fit their age. Once our children reach the age of 18 they should have the knowledge to have less issues but accept them when they do have those issues, be there for them, give advise but don't be judgemental as we were once in their shoes not to long ago. Remember they are a blessing and the day they were born was a blessed event and the day they move on will be another blessed event. The most blessed event is when they come back to us and say ( you were right) and I love you for trusting in me. Love your children as one day they will be your crutch to lean and guide you.

Growing In Oneself

Growing in oneself is a very scary at times. The growth that you seek is not always accepted by the people who surround you. The growth must be for yourself not for them. I know this personally for I have grown in so many ways this past year and believe me there were times when I second guessed myself. The supposedly friends did not like to accept change so they wanted me to stay the same as them. I am sure all of you have had this happen to you, what did you do? fold to thier wishes or did you move on without them? I hoped you made your decsion to move on without them. As I have said before true friends will let you grow. Be you for you!!

Love thyself

Thanksgiving

As I look at what I have to be thankful for I see many things. I have a great family,wonderful friends and you. We go through life feeling so sorry fr ourselves for waht we dont have rather than what we do have. I have as I am sure many of you have done the same. Remember when you wake up in the morning, you should be thankful for others didnt get to. I say to you be thankful for those around you because you never know when.... this is not as deep as I usually get but hey today is a thankful day. I will return to my usual self I am sure LOL


Peace to you
Enjoy your Family

Was it Right?

Was it right to fall in love with someone whom you knew you shouldn't have? Was it ok to toss all caution to the wind? Was it worth all the fun you had together? Was it worth all the risks you had taken? Was it worth it? Was it right? I am sure we all have had this happen to us. I am sure at the time all of the answers were yes. The thrill you felt when you were in that state was euphoric you know like flying high on drugs. Reality has a way of setting in. The time spent together was then and you must accept the fact that it was a growing moment in your life. It was a time in which we all do things we knew was wrong but decided the feelings of euphoria was worth the risk. The pain to come was thought of but not accepting at the time but as all things begin all things must end. Once I put the reality 1st I realized that I should have listened to that logical voice that was not talking but was SCREAMING in my head. Pain to come was never wanted but comes anyway. Can I be forgiven for my actions, will I be forgiven? Can you be forgiven for your actions, will you be forgiven for your actions? I feel the answers are yes but it will take time. Those who loved you before your actions will continue to love you. It is the betrayal that they feel that hurts them most. The thought they felt they knew everything about you and there was no secrets between you. We all have secrets even our own minds don't know about ourselves. The relationships that are strong will mend and be repaired but it will take time. the quote " if it was meant to be then it will be".

Man in the Mirror

I got to see the new Micheal Jackson movie "this is it". I t was quite interesting to see the making of a concert and the different sides of him. The movie was like a mini concert. The movie also makes you think about who you are, where you are and how soon you can be gone. My 2 favorite songs were Man in the mirror and Earth song. the two makes me think what am I going to leave behind when I am gone? Morbid thoughts are not running through my mind but thoughts just the same are. I am coming to the conclusion that there is sooo much destruction in my world today that I must look at myself to see what it is that i am doing to help destroy my world. My world consist of so many things, personal, professional, local and global. I have so much influence on so many people and events that I lose myself in the quest for others happiness. I have decided to look in the mirror and make a change!! The change is: to better myself for me! To stop seeking the "holy grail". You see I am going stop chasing things, people, dreams that don't want to be caught. I am just gonna accept the fact that life is only as good as you make it to be. I have been searching for something to make it all right, make it whole when in reality I am Whole!! I am the man in the mirror. I have never really seen him before, excuses was all that i saw. So I say to all of you "look" at the person in the mirror "see" the person in the mirror, " love " the person in the mirror. The legacy you want to leave behind is the legacy that you LIVE today!!!

Live Free
Live Full
Live to Live

Thank You!!!

I want to thank 4 very special people in my life. I recently went through a major event in my life and they were there for me. I had devastating news and tough decisions to make. these people gave the strength to keep the pace and strive to make the right decision. I had given up on so many occasions but they wouldn't let me
they kept me grounded. I have since conquered the issue and now live each day to the fullest. I have had some bad days as life is not always peachy but they have been and continue to be there. These people are not who you think they would be nor are they professional but very wise. Two of them had personal experiences with this and 1 was positive outcome and 1 was not. The ones who didn't you would never know they just had care and love in their hearts. they held true to me and I want to tell them THANK YOU!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

A,A,B,C

THANK YOU!!

I was praying for a miracle and then you came along!
A friend is a guardian in disguise. Thanks for watching out for me!!

Lost Loved Ones

On the eve of the upcoming anniversary of my brother Darryl's death, I am reflecting on the whys? I have always said to others " rejoice in the time spent with them" I try to do the same but it isn't always possible. I miss him terribly. Darryl was the closest to me, we were 1 year, 1 month and 1 day apart from each other. He was the one who tried to keep us all together. He was never successful in his mission to get us all together before he passed but it. I write this tonite because I know others have lost someone very dear to them. Is there a time frame on how long you can mourn them? Why must there be a limit? I have lost in my lifetime both parents and all grandparents. I truly miss my mother alot and keep asking why? Why didn't she follow the instructions from the drs? why did she leave me? I need her so much, to comfort me and scold me to be ME. Am I being selfish? probably so. I know there are others out there like me asking the same questions. To all of you I say whatever it takes for you to keep them close to your heart you do. Do remember the good times and wish them much happiness on thier journey to wherever their spirit went. The question still remains as to why did they have to go? I don't believe they had to suffer. I know they held on as long as they could if not for themselves but for us. The pain they were suffering was a selfless pain because of the joy they saw in us. I guess when you get to a certain point in your life everyday IS a BLESSING! Unfortunately my grandmother didn't have a choice she was killed by a drunk driver while on her way to a close family friends funeral. My grandmother was my rock!! while my mother and brother was very important to me, my grandmother was my heart!! When i had given up on life she was the one who pulled me back into her arms and let me know it would be all right. Oh the comfort of her arms around me and looking up into her eyes gave me a sense of comfort like nothing else. I still have the last letter she wrote to me telling me everything would be alright. She was KILLED 2 weeks later. I have never said goodbye to her and I don't want to. You see it was my birthday month and now I look at that month with joy and anger. The joy for reaching another year and anger for not being able to share it with her and my other loved ones. One day at a time is all i do. Grandma, I LOVE YOU!!!! Darryl, THANK YOU!!!! Mom, I NEED YOU!!!! This is the selfish part of me. To all of you I cherished you, for without you I wouldn't be here today. I am well. I have succeeded so many things thanks to each of you. I see each of you everyday when i look at my family. I hope you can see the product of your love and guidance and are proud!!

I am you
You are me
We are family